Rest In Peace, Aunt Helen

My Aunt Helen passed away this week after a short illness.

Aunt Helen was my Mother's sister. My Mom and Aunt Helen were attached at the hip for as long as I could remember! A big Friday night was Aunt Helen and her daughter, Michaelene, coming to pick up me and Mom. We would head out somewhere like roller skating where Michaelene and I would spend the evening skating and having fun and Mom and Aunt Helen would stay in the car, drink their coffee and tea and smoke cigarettes. That was their idea of a fun evening! If it wasn't roller skating, we would be found at that small amusement park on 8th and Peninsula. Again, Mom and Aunt Helen in the parking lot, talking about everything sisters talk about and me and Michaelene playing and hooting and hollering to our heart's content. As a side note, I walked up those gazillion steps to go down that huge slide on a dirty ass piece of burlap more times than I can count. I can't remember the name of the park any longer and my brother Jim was also having a brain fart on that matter, but it is a great memory. Too much fun.

I have been thinking a lot about Aunt Helen this week and I've come to realize that I have gotten more from her than I thought. For example, I know I have this mannerism that I do. I don't know why I do it, but I feel myself doing it. The last time I saw Aunt Helen was in October. As we were sitting at Aunt Mary's visiting, I saw my mannerism! That's where I got it from, Aunt Helen does it!

Moving on, as with any large family, and boy are we a large family, things happen over the years. Slights happen, arguments happen, family sides with family, people stop talking, hurt feelings, blah blah blah. We're no different than any other family.

I have a few philanthropic activities that I've been involved in for years. They have always been important to me and when I look to get involved in any charity, there are certain organizations or activities that I truly believe in and support wholeheartedly. I learned these from Aunt Helen. The two biggest charity works I support I learned from Aunt Helen. It never hit me why these are so near and dear to my heart. But, looking back on it, I see both of them came from Aunt Helen. I spent years watching her support the same types of charities. I learned from her and that was a great thing to learn.

Unfortunately, it takes a death in the family to motivate you to reexamine yourself. Maybe I'm just getting to that point in my own life where I'm also feeling my mortality. Whatever the reason, I've had an epiphany this week. I felt an overpowering urge to mend some fences, to build some bridges, to make amends. I felt I really needed to be there.

Ron and I headed out this morning before 7 am to make it to Erie for the 10:00 Mass. We got as far as Avon and the freezing rain that was falling this morning was making the roads treacherous. The farther we went, the worse it got. I kept telling myself if I could only make it to downtown Cleveland we'd be ok. Then I remembered that the east side of Cleveland is always worse than the west side. So I amended my way of thinking. If I could only get past Cleveland, we'd be ok. Then I remembered that the Ashtabula area is the worst along the lake front. Geez, it wasn't looking good.

I finally made the executive decision to turn around and come home. The roads were horrible and I didn't see it getting any better.

I think Aunt Helen knows I was there in spirit. For now the fences must remain unmended, bridges must remain unbuilt, no amends for now. To my family, I am sorry I didn't make it in. I spent a day of "what if's" and "I wish I woulda's". I wish I woulda been there to lend my support, to grieve with the family, so say my I'm sorrys.

To Aunt Helen, thank you for all you've taught me, whether I knew I was learning it or not. Rest in peace.