Thursday, July 24, 2014

Fire Bug

I know, I have some blogging to catch up on! 

Let's start with my new habit.  I have been a fire bug!

A few years ago, I was heating up a pop tart in the toaster oven at work.  I started a fire.  No fire is a good fire but this one didn't cause damage except to my pride.  I took a lot of crap from coworkers, as I should have, and we joked that I'm no longer allowed to use the toaster oven! 

Then, last week I was using the microwave on my heating pad.  I use this a lot and it's a great help to my sore shoulder and neck.  You put it in the microwave for two minutes and it's a nice moist heat experience.  Like I said, I use this pad a lot.  I took it to work a few days last week.  I put it in the microwave and I started to smell something.  Something burning.

It's an old microwave, pre turn table era.  I guess one ray of microwave magic just beat down on that poor thing in one place.  It doesn't look like much but it was on fire and the entire microwave was full of smoke!  This heating pad thingie is full of rice.  The building was full of the wonderful smell of burnt rice.  Yes, the microwave is now on the list of toys at work I'm not supposed to use without supervision. 

Wait, it continues!

The other day, I had to laminate some labels.  You print on paper what you want laminated.  Then it goes into a plastic sleeve.  The sleeve then goes into a waxy paper folder and that is what you feed through the laminator.  If you do it correctly, when the waxy paper comes out the other side, what is in it is nice and laminated.  If you do it correctly.

I was holding up the paper as it went through the roller of the laminating machine.  Once it was through, I looked at the other side to take the finished product out of the machine and guess what!  There was nothing there!  I have NO idea where in the hell my labels went but they did not come out of the machine.  I think I yelled something like "oh crap" or some words to the effect.  My brother heard that and came running.  Something about the tone of my voice told him this was a bad "oh crap" that he might need to intervene in this one.

I immediately shut the machine off and then tried to take the top off of the machine to get my paper out of there.  It wasn't happening.  Mike had to get tools to get me out of this jam!  He actually had to take the machine apart to get that dame paper out from around the roller inside.  Come to find out, I forgot the waxy paper portion of this exercise.  Luckily the plastic didn't melt directly to the roller.  I wish I'd have taken a picture of that mess when Mike got it out of the machine!  My instructions from Mike for the rest of that day?  "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"  Noted.

So, I've been trying to behave and to not touch anything. 

I came home from work tonight, fed the cats and then I cooked myself some dinner.  Should have been an easy dinner, heating up a veal patty in a frying pan.  Should have taken five or six minutes.  I don't know what I was thinking but that patty was burned to a crisp!  This was one of the nastiest dinners I've ever made myself!  I ate it but I didn't like it.

Sheesh, me and fire are not getting along.  Lock up all of your matches and lighters.  I just can't be trusted!

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Even the gum is out to get me

Some days it probably doesn't pay to get out of bed!

I like to chew gum.  I chew it at work so I don't keep putting food in my mouth.  I chew it in the evening at home for pretty much the same reason.  What I normally buy is Extra gum, in sticks.

When I was buying gum at the grocery store last week, I bought the wrong stuff.  Hey, it started with an "E"!  I was close!!

The good thing about the sticks of Extra is that you can unwrap the gum easily from the wrapper and pop in in your mouth.  As an added bonus, you then have the wrapper that can be used later to dispose of the gum!

The Eclipse gum, you have to push the little chicklet type candy through the foil backing to get it out.

I popped a piece of gum out of the back of the package and then tried to pop it right in my mouth from there.  Would you like to know what I learned?  I learned that the damn foil is REALLY sharp!  Yes, I sliced my lip like you wouldn't believe.

Supposedly, I am a grown up, responsible adult.  That doesn't mean that I don't need rubber guards on all corners and maybe a handler of some sort to keep me safe!


Thursday, July 03, 2014

I'm Blaming Phil!

My brother Phil lives with me.  For that privilege, I make him earn his keep.

One of the things he does is that he goes through my morning check list with me.  As I leave the house on my way to work, Phil reminds me that I need my lunch, my book, my phone, my keys, etc.  Hopefully I don't get to work and realize I left my purse on the table!

However, in order for this routine to really work, I need to let Phil know what I need every morning.

Mike made an appointment for Wednesday morning for service on his car.  When he's getting his car serviced, I pick him up on my way to work and then take him to pick up his car after work.  That works both ways as Mike has picked me up in the morning when I needed it.

That was the plan.  Then stuff happened!

Wednesday morning was an emotional morning.  Aside from my four cats, I am fostering a fifth.  She had an appointment to get spayed on Wednesday.  My friend Bobbie was picking her up at 7:00 am, taking her to Love a Stray who was sponsoring her spaying.  It makes me emotional sending a cat for surgery, even when it's the right thing to do.  But, I digress.

Bobbie picked up Jasmine and there was nothing for me to do about her until Bobbie brought her back to me after work for her recovery.  I was pacing the house and finally thought that was ridiculous.  I might as well put my nervous energy to good use.

I packed myself up and just went to work early, before Phil even came down for breakfast.  I got to work at about 7:30, the phones hadn't started ringing yet, no one needed anything from me, I could just dig in, with no interruptions and actually get WORK done!  I was in the zone!  I was working it!  I was accomplishing things!  Life was good!

Then my phone rang at 8:30 and it was Mike.  This can't be good.  He usually only calls me in the morning if something is wrong.  Here is our conversation:

Me:  Hey, good morning!  Are you ok?
Mike:  Yeah, I'm ok!  Um, did you forget to pick me up?
Me:  Shit.  I'm on my way!

According to the plan, I was to pick Mike up at 8:15 at the garage.  Luckily it wasn't far from work and we were able to make it back before the production crew showed up.

I on the other hand, didn't hear the end of it from Mike, and rightly so.  It's ok though, I blamed it on Phil!  It's all his fault that I forgot about picking Mike up.  Hey, at least I didn't make Mike walk to work!