About a year and a half ago, I found out I was a Type II Diabetic. Talk about having the rug pulled out from under you! I don't know why I was surprised as I had a lot of the classic symptoms, as well as family history of the disease. Plus, horrible, horrible eating habits which sealed my fate.
I made appointments with a dietitian, I made a game plan and I was a rabid follower for a long time. I lost 63 pounds, I could barely walk. But, if you discounted the additional back pain from the exercising, the rest of my body felt better. I had to buy new clothes as my pants literally fell off of me. THAT had never happened before!
But, I burned myself out. Eating two spinach salads a day for over a year, trust me. If I NEVER see a spinach salad again, I could probably live with myself.
Don't get me wrong, it WORKED. The secret to losing weight is simple. Diet and exercise. Not pills, not drinks, but good old fashioned healthy eating and exercise. Period. I proved it. I burned out, I backed off of my diet. End result? I gained 30 of those 63 pounds back again.
When I was diagnosed with the label of Type II Diabetic, my doctor told me that I COULD control it and I COULD get myself off of medication and be happy and healthy. I dug my heals in and vowed to be off of meds in one year. For real, taking a pill a day? I don't think so. Once he gives you one pill a day, it seems to be a slippery slope to add another pill for something else "because you're a diabetic, you also have to watch your cholesterol, here's a pill." To "vitamin D is so important because you're a diabetic. Take another pill a day". I am NOT made of money and this is definitely in part a financial decision.
Anyway, I burned out. I flat out burned out. The getting back on the scale and realizing I gained 30 of the 63 pounds back was a scary sight. I do NOT want to go back to square one. But what do I do?
Start over.
I need help.
I am going on a real diet, a regimented and regulated diet. I'm not happy about it but I need the help. I enlisted some one's help and the two of us are going on this diet together.
We made this decision last week to start this week. Once that decision was made, it so happened that the next night I was going for my regular grocery shopping to Sam's Club and Giant Eagle. I KNOW my life is once again changing and it scared the crap out of me. Let's face it, I am addicted to food. And to know I'm going on a regulated diet, I KNOW I have to face my demons once again, get serious and kick good food to the curb.
I started shopping that night and had a bona fide panic attack. I thought if I'm going to give up good and tasty food next week, I'm blowing any semblance of healthy eating and I bought out the stores. I had ice cream, potato chips and dip, tortilla chips and salsa, cookies, pizza, Quarter Pounder with Cheese and any and all crap I could shove into my mouth. Ok, this past week was probably some of my gained back 30 pounds but whatever. I wanted to be able to eat one more time all the crap that I feel I will never be able to eat without guilt ever again.
So, we are starting over and hopefully getting healthy.
Today's photo challenge is good food. Since I feel like I'm saying good bye to good food, I thought this blog post was appropriate for today to go along with the pictures of some of the good food I've had this past week!
Wish me luck, I'm going to need it. I am starting over.
3 comments:
:-( no more breakfast at Pete's
:-( no more Mutt & Jeff's
:-) healthy happy Ree
I know a couple cute boys who would love to walk with you!
:( I will miss my favorite places for sure.
BUT, maybe we can work something out with me BORROWING the boys for long walks!!!
I don't know Pete's and Mutt&Jeff's, but I do know that you can eat healthy withour losing all fun. For me no diet worked, when my soul insn't satisfied. I want to go into a restaurant and I want to eat tasy things. But I am avoiding convenience food and all what is too fat and too sweet. And believe me or not, you get used to it. Since I have been eating only fresh things I don't like convenience food any more. Maybe our recipe exchange can help a bit. I don't know what you are allowed to eat, but it only works if you keep relishing your food. You have to substitute your old food with new food, which you like as much as the old food. Big hugs, Ree. If you ever need some comforting words, I am there. By the way, a good friend of me is also diabetic. So don't say goodbye to your favorite restaurants. You can still go there, but you can order different things. Not Coke, but maybe some coffee or sparkling water or some water with a bit lemon juice. And you can eat some nice veggies instead of burgers (I hope these restaurants don't have only convenience food). You need not sit at home. That's not good for you. Big hugs, Ree!
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