Mad Banker

My contract at work includes, under duties, the fine print "or whatever else someone deems necessary". That includes for me to run errands on my way to work or after work. I go to the post office once, sometimes twice a day, I go to UPS, Office Max and to the bank or where ever else is deemed necessary.

Thursday after work, I went to the Chase Bank drive through over on 21st Street by Broadway in Lorain. It's a nice location, easy to get to and out of, and usually I can get in and out quickly. Thursday when I got there, it was a little busier than usual. Two lanes of drive through open and a car in each one. I opted for the lane on the left, right next to the window. I like that they slide that little tray out and I don't have to use those tubes! I am not a fan of those tubes!

Anyway, even with two cars to be waited on before me, I didn't expect my wait to be long. I know, you see it coming . . . there were issues! The car in front of me had a younger couple in it that seemed like they'd never done a banking transaction in their lives. The teller may be close to you, but they are in a building, probably behind bullet proof glass. Until they turn the microphone on, I don't believe they can hear you inside.

That didn't stop the guy in front of me from yelling at the glass asking for help! I watched the tray slide out, him put stuff in, tray goes in. Then the tray comes out, he takes stuff out, puts other stuff in, tray in. Tray out, another exchange of items, tray in. Then, he starts rummaging under the front seats while she climbs over the front seats and is looking in the back seat! C'mon people! Why can't you be ready when you get to the teller???

I am not going to lie. I was fuming sitting there behind this jerk. If you need that much help, go across the street and go INTO the bank for some face to face time with a teller. I know, you're wondering why I didn't just back up and go into the other lane. Well, I did think about it. But, I didn't think that would be a safe move, to back up out of a lane. Besides, there was a steady stream of cars coming and going into that lane. They seemed to get waited on pretty quickly, so I had to watch at least four other cars go through that lane before the dufus in front of me finally finished up whatever he was doing!

Now it's my turn. I have my deposit slip in my hand, the checks to be deposited are all stamped and in order, easy peasy. But, I am pissed. I get up to the window and this girl couldn't have been more apologetic! She was actually pretty funny. Arms waving, she couldn't apologize enough, along with feeling like she had to explain that the people in front of me were a little unorganized. Duh. You think? She said she was trying to wave me over to the other lane, but I couldn't see here where I was at, plus I told her I felt safer just waiting in my line. Anyway, she diffused my mood instantly and she and I ended up having a good laugh while it took her all of 30 seconds to get my deposit done. That definitely made me go home in a much better mood than I thought I was going to have.

Now it's Friday. Again, another bank deposit. Deposit slip is ready, and I have my checks stamped and in order. This time however, I decided to stop at the Chase Bank on Fairless Avenue. I think that's in Elyria. Anyway, I always go to one of these two branches, depending on my mood and how many errands I am running after work.

When I got to the bank, the drive through was pretty backed up. Personally, I think the drive through here is as slow as molasses anyway, so I chose to park and just walk in. I figured I'd be in and out, easy peasy.

There was maybe three or four people in line ahead of me and two tellers working. And, one of them I was almost positive was the girl from the other branch that I dealt with the day before! So, I get in line.

No problem. Except for the guy in front of me. I am going to call him The Player for the sake of this blog. Trust me, if you looked up "Player" in the dictionary, this guy's picture would be in there! This idiot is standing in line on his cell phone. Being The Player, of course he is very important and can't put that damn phone away. I got to listen to him tell whomever just how important he was and that he has a lot of money but he needed a lot more money and that as a matter of fact, he was expecting his expense check to come in any day now because it would be over $1,000. After all that hard work selling those McDonald's gift cards, he was owed that much money. No lie. How do I get a job selling McDonald's gift cards and earn an easy grand? But, I digress.

It's now the turn of the lady in front of The Player. She walks up to her teller and lays a couple of bank bags on the counter. She is going to be awhile.

Now it's The Player's turn, and he goes to my girl from yesterday. He is standing in front of her, at the counter, but still carrying on his conversation on the damn phone. She had to TELL him to shut off the phone if he wanted to do bank business. She told him that three times and he still wouldn't turn off the damn phone! For real, how dare she expect that of The Player?

Finally, he hands her a bank card from another bank and in a dismissive tone, tells her to transfer money from that bank into this bank. She tries to explain to him that she does not have access to his accounts at other banks and that she can't help him. In between his conversation on the phone he tells her that since he can do that on line, she MUST be able to do it here. Again, she explains that to him and hands him back his card.

Now he's pissed and bitching about her to whomever is on the phone! I'm telling you, she has more chutzpah than I do because I think I would have reached out over the counter and grabbed that phone and flung it. But, I digress.

Finally, he decides that he just wants money transferred from his savings to his checking account then. The Player just looks at her like she should snap to it as He has spoken. Butting into his conversation again, she has to explain to this numb nut that she needs him to fill out a form and she needs to see some identification. He can't believe he is being treated like this! Finally, with her having all of the paper work she needs and his ID, all the while still listening to him bad mouthing her on the phone, she tells him "You only have $46.22 in your savings account. How much do you want transferred to checking"? He was PISSED! He said "I don't need you to tell me how much I have, just transfer all you can!"

Go girl! I had to chuckle! Finally, he gets done whatever he was getting done and it's my turn. She immediately recognized me and it's like we were long lost buddies! We both had a good laugh at that, while no one else in the bank understood what the hell we were laughing at! She again is apologizing and asked what it was about me that turned the people in front of me into challenging customers? I agreed that it probably was all my fault! It's either that or the combination of the two of us together is absolutely dangerous!

We did enjoy a good laugh and I left the bank, going on my merry way.

I wish I'd have looked at her name to give her a shout out, but I gotta tell you, she's the bomb! She handled both trouble customers with more dignity than I would have plus stopped me from bitching about it! Who else could walk away with two stories from two different bank branches in two days?

Watch out for the mad banker! You never know where I will appear next!