Keep The Lights Down Low

Man, oh man, if you've ever wondered why movie theaters are so dark, wonder no more. I can tell you!

When Ron and I go to a movie, I like to go to the Regal Cinemas over at Cobblestone on Abbe Road. To me, it's cleaner than the ones at Midway Mall and I think more comfortable too. I'm not so sure now just how clean any of the theaters are.

Sunday, we decided to go to an early matinee. The show was at 12:30 pm and if you're interested, we went to see The Help. As a side bar here, it wasn't all I thought it was going to be, but I thoroughly enjoyed it! Any movie that makes me cry is a good one! Ok, it doesn't take much to make me cry, but I digress. I still give the movie my thumbs up.

Anyway, we got to the theater early, just after noon. I knew that being that early we'd have a wait, but that was ok. We got our sodas and headed in to pick out our seats. I like the back row against the wall just because with my back, I can't always make it to sit through a whole movie. If I have to, I can stand up back there and not be in any one's way. This time however, walking from the bottom of the theater where you come in, all the way to the top where we like to sit, I saw WAY more than I should have.

I'm guessing that since this was the first show of the day, they were just getting ramped up. All of the overhead lights were on! I've never been in a theater when ALL of the lights were on! People, there is a reason the theaters are dimmed! O M G, what I saw is now burned into my retinas.

The kids do go through and sweep up all of the dropped popcorn and such, and pick up all of the litter between shows and such but for real, I don't think that floor has been washed in years. If it has, shame on them if that's as clean as they could get it. But, that's not my gripe. The floors can be dirty. After all, we have shoes on and I'm not going to eat off of the floor. The seats however, were another story.

I can see YEARS of stains and spills and who knows what else. I honestly thought of just standing during the movie! I want to burn my clothes now! I should have taken a picture of the seats, but I didn't think of it until just now! I kept going down the row, looking for a couple of "cleaner" seats. The next thing I knew, I was at the wall and out of seats to look at! Yes, they were all that bad.

I don't know what I expected. After all, how many butts were in these seats this week. I don't know if it would be possible to keep them any cleaner, with the traffic that goes through a movie theater. I don't know what I expected, but holy cow, this wasn't it.

I will never wear good clothes to a theater again. And, when I get home, the clothes that I did wear will go right into the laundry!

Better yet, wait until the movie comes out on cable or on Netflix or Red Box or your DVD supplier of choice. My floors and furniture, even WITH cat hair on them, was a whole lot cleaner than the theater! And that, my friends, is why the theaters keep the lights down low. Remember, you heard it here first. The less you see, the better off you are.

Just thinking of it, I need a shower again. Eww.