I Almost Ran Over WHAT???

Saturday, the temperatures warmed up and the grass dried enough to cut again. Ron and I decided to cut the grass before we went off for a day of fun. Ron was pushing the hand mower in front and I was in the back on the riding mower.

Coming across the back of the house, I was watching the left side of the deck. I see what at first I thought was a small knit hat in the grass. I leaned over a bit to get a better look and the "thing" started to uncoil and slither up the freakin' wall! IT WAS A SNAKE!!! IN LORAIN OHIO!!!!!! Seriously, WTF!

Ok, what do I do first? Well, I screamed, of course. But with two mowers going, I don't think anyone heard me. I drove the mower probably 10 feet and shut it down and then ran to the front to get Ron. I told him there is a SNAKE at the back of the house! We walked back to where I saw him and he was no where to be seen. There is a downspout there, with a brick under it holding up a water diverter. I figured the snake was under that diverter. I ran to the garage and got a rake and Ron moved the diverter. Sure enough, there was the SNAKE!

I know what a garter snake looks like and this sure wasn't it. This snake was a good size snake, in my dumb ass opinion. It was a good 3 to 4 feet long. I was not happy and I had no intention of finishing the grass with a SNAKE waiting for me against the house! What did I do now? I called 9-1-1! I know y'all are thinking right now that I am nuts! So, before I finish my story, here is the snake curled up in the brick that was holding up the diverter.


Perhaps not the proper use of the 9-1-1 system, but to ME this was an emergency! Here, look closer at this SNAKE!!


Holy crap! Well, the police gave me the number for the wild life center as they don't get rid of unwanted animals. They would have to send a car since I made the call, but they wouldn't get rid of the snake. Hey, I've seen COPS on TV! They not only got rid of snakes, I've seen them get rid of opossums, raccoons, bats, all kinds of things. But, I digress.

The wild life center was no help. No one was working on a Saturday and besides, as the police before told me, there are supposedly no venomous snakes in Ohio. Well, it might not be indigenous to the area but that doesn't mean that it didn't get away from some one's house where it was a pet. No one else seemed to think this was a problem other than me.

For as much as I have bad mouthed the Lorain Police before, I gotta give these guys props. They were actually there pretty quickly. It must have been a slow day at the precinct because I not only got a patrol officer, one of the SWAT guys came along with him! I had high hopes for my situation when I saw that!

They looked at the critter and confirmed that it was a snake. Duh. They also confirmed that neither of them had any intention of getting too near this snake either! I did remind them both that they are armed and they should feel free to SHOOT the snake! I was positive that deadly force would be approved by their superiors! They didn't buy it.

SWAT guy pulled out his iPhone and tried to figure out what kind of snake it is. I still have no idea so if any of you know what it is, please let me know. While we were all standing there, the snake finally uncurled and made a run for it. He headed over to some trees at the back of the neighbor's yard. As long as it was away from me, and I couldn't convince the officers that shooting the snake would be the right thing do it, I had to be ok with this outcome. They had a good story to take back to the office and of course, I have blog material. Win/win.

As soon as this thing started to make a run for it, I tried to get it on film. Considering he had no legs, he was hauling some serious ass! All this in Lorain Ohio.



Once it made it out of the yard, the police left, I headed to the riding mower to drive myself out of harm's way and Ron finished up with the hand mower. I may NEVER cut that part of the grass again, but that's a whole other story!

He was a little easier to see once he got out of the grass and was on the gravel of the driveway. Too bad Ron didn't stand close enough so you could judge the size of the snake! BIG snake.


I can't make this stuff up! Who else has a snake in their yard in Lorain Ohio? Only me!

Author's note: Since I've written this, I've been pouring over pictures of snakes in Ohio. It is my belief that this is an Eastern Fox Snake. Supposedly found near the shores of Lake Erie, how did this guy get two miles inland???