Puffs Of Air – Activated

I am home safe and sound from vacation. We had a great time (aside from me cheating at Yahtzee, right Maura?!!) and even got to see quite a few sights in Florida. Aside from the heat which got the best of me on Saturday, I have no complaints.

I do have a good story about coming home on Sunday morning.

I did have an early flight on Sunday morning so I am with little sleep and a lot of sadness that vacation is over. Maura dropped me off at the Tampa airport then she headed back to Kissimmee. Meanwhile, I made my way through the airport and over to security. Did I mention I was half asleep?

I am in the security line to get through x-ray. One by one, we hand our boarding passes and our drivers licenses over to the security guard, and he tells us which x-ray line to get into for the next step. The closer I get to the guard, I more I hear a female computerized voice saying “puffs of air – activated” followed by a few sounds like “puff, puff, puff, puff”. At first I am blaming lack of sleep. But sure enough, every couple of minutes, there it is again, “puffs of air – activated.” Finally, I see x-ray line number six starts with this phone booth like contraption. People walk into this phone booth; you hear “puffs of air – activated” then the “puff, puff, puff, puff” while you see the person’s hair flying every which way and their clothes billowing like crazy. A minute or so goes by and the front of the phone booth contraption opens and the person walks forward to the actual x-ray.

Being the nosey person I am I had to ask about this. When it’s finally my turn to hand over my boarding pass and license for inspection, I asked the guard what’s with the puffs of air. He tells me that the air puffs will reveal any explosives on the person. Being naïve about so many things, I looked at him in wide-eyed wonder and said something like WOW! He asked me if I’d like to try it! Proving that I wouldn’t make a good terrorist, I said “Sure!” (Then again, if I said no at this point, would he have made me go through a full body cavity search? I wasn’t taking any chances!) So, he tells me to wait in line number six.

I wait for a few people to go through the phone booth and it’s finally my turn. My shoes and my laptop are already on the belt being x-rayed. I step into the phone booth, put my feet in the little painted feet on the floor and wait. Suddenly, I hear it. “Puffs of air – activated” followed by “puff, puff, puff, puff”.

My hair goes flying, my shirt flies up and I can’t do anything but start to giggle! The more I giggle, the harder I start to laugh. Since laughter is contagious, when the phone booth finally opened to let me out, I am laughing so hard that this caused the security guard outside of the phone booth to start laughing too.

I showed him my boarding pass and while he’s inspecting it, I thank him. He asked what I was thanking him for and of course I told him because that was the most fun I’ve had at six in the morning in a LONG time! So, he got a laugh out of it and I sure got a laugh out of it and everyone found out that I’d make a terrible terrorist. No poker face.

The flight home was uneventful except for the landing. Once we were getting down to the altitude of lowering the landing gear, the weather was really rough. I was starting to look for the airsick bag when he finally put the plane down. We were all safe and sound, but it was a heck of a final descent into Cleveland.

I got to finish my vacation over Mike and Mary Jane’s house, who were hosting an early 4th of July party.

The house was full of their kids and spouses and of course, their grandkids. Aside from a few showers that insisted on coming through, it was a great party. Then again, with this bunch, how can it be anything but a good party!

So, that was vacation. Now I am ready for the next one!