Idiots Next To Me

I had to run to the post office at lunch today. There is a lot of parking at this post office, at least 50 spots. Maybe 10 were filled when I pulled in.

I went in, did what I needed to do, and tried to leave. Keep in mind, it’s raining cats and dogs outside.

A Ford Explorer was now pulled in right next to me. A few people have stopped at the post office while I was inside, and a few left. Worst case scenario, there were still at least 35 open spots in the lot. This idiot had to pull right next to me. And by that, I mean . . . . RIGHTNEXTTOME. I couldn’t even walk between our two cars, let alone open the door to get in.

Have I mentioned that it’s raining cats and dogs? Luckily I have my umbrella. My first thought was to go inside and start yelling for this idiot to come move their car. My second thought was that I should just get in on the passenger’s side and climb over to the driver’s side. Somehow I thought of my car being a standard transmission and I had visions of something unspeakable happening between me and my gear shift. I thought better of both of those options and instead opted for thought number three which was to stand out in the rain, getting more and more pissed off. Finally about ten minutes later, a blonde who was old enough to know better came out.

She noticed me standing in front of her car, and actually looked at me, smiled, and said “hi”. I couldn’t do anything but smile back and say “thanks for your park job. I can’t get in my car”. At least she apologized and said that she had to park that way because the guy on the other side of her had pulled over too far in her spot so she had to pull over into mine. Hello??

In my best smiling manner, I said to her “good thing you got the last spot in the parking lot then” as I gestured to the other 35 empty spots. The look on her face told me that she was not catching the sarcasm I was throwing at her. She just smiled, got in her car and almost backed into a car driving through the parking lot.

Ladies, please. Watch out for that peroxide. She is living proof that peroxide makes you lose brain cells.