I hate admitting this in public, but it's true. I am a fan of Howard Stern.
I'm not going to say I agree with everything that he does or says. When even I find him offensive, I have no problem changing the channel. But when I was able to listen to his show, usually the first hour of it, I think he's a gas. He makes me laugh.
The guy is intelligent, he argues well, and really mixes it up with those around him. He cast and crew are a whole other story. Anyway, I wasn't intending for this to be a Howard Stern tribute, I'm just saying that my drive to work has always been made better by him.
Now that he's made his move to satellite radio, I am left to find another way to help me get to work in the morning. I have nothing against people paying for satellite radio. Heaven knows I pay enough for cable TV. But, I watch a lot of cable TV. The only time I listen to the radio is in the car. That's not enough for me to pay more for the satellite radio. Big bummer.
Anyway, Howard's replacement in our market is David Lee Roth, former front man for Van Halen. I didn't want to be one of those people that just automatically decided not to like him without giving him a chance. Well, I gave him a chance. Three chances. There aren't words strong enough to express just how much he sucks.
I listened on three separate days, at most for three minutes each day. Here is what happened in the random times I tuned in.
Tuesday: David Lee Roth was just picking up a phone call. The caller said how much she loved David Lee Roth as a performer, and she was very excited that he made this career move. She had many questions for David Lee, that she felt had never been answered before and that a lot of his fans might want the answers as well. David Lee assured her that she could ask anything she wanted and he would answer. This was like the "David Lee Roth Reality Show" and he would hold nothing back. So, the caller asked her question. She stated that she had heard that David Lee had recently married. She wanted to know if it was true, and if he had any little David Lee Jr's running around. I thought that sounded like an easy question. He immediately bristled at the question. Hey! That was personal! He wasn't answering any personal questions, don't ya know! He didn't want to mix his personal life with his public life! No, he would NOT be answering that question! HA!
Wednesday: When I tuned in on Wednesday, David Lee was going on and on about Americans losing valuable jobs to people coming across our borders and taking our jobs! For example, he said how about the Mexicans coming over the border taking our jobs. And, what about them Canadians coming over the border taking our jobs. He said it must stop! Oh where do I begin to comment on this 30 second blurb I heard come out of his mouth. I guess the only thing I'm going to say is I musta missed reading the paper the day it was announced that it was a problem all them Canadians coming south to take our high paying jobs. Yeah, that's it.
Thursday: Today I again tuned in, I thought he's just having opening jitters. It HAS to get better. Well, I think I was wrong. He was talking about a girlfriend of sorts that he had for awhile a few years back. I guess she wasn't too personal to talk about. Turns out, she was one of Heidi Fleiss' girls even. Well, he'd start telling his story and then he'd tell one of his side kicks to turn up the music, because he had to tell them something. So, up came the music, which drowned out his story, a few seconds later the music went down and everyone was laughing. I guess it musta been funny. Then it happened again! He said to turn up the music because he had one more thing to add! Music up, no David Lee, music down, laughter all around.
Ok, maybe I have it all wrong. You're a radio talk show host, I guess you should be talking to the radio audience. If he wants to sit around talking only to his homeys, perhaps he should stay home.
Yeah, that's it. Do us all a favor. Quit your day job.
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