Deja Vu

I am having a really, really bad day today.

I know we all joke about deja vu, but I don't know what else to call it. It's happened four times today, the last being a few minutes ago as we were pulling into the parking garage.

I just suddenly get a "feeling". I'm seeing something in my mind's eye which feels like a memory. Like I know what's going to happen in this other reality, or memory, or vision or whatever. It is so hard to put into words. All I can say is when I start thinking about what I'm "remembering" I start to feel like a wave of panic is washing over me and I suddenly feel very nauseous. Ugh. One of them today felt like I was afraid of the snow that was falling in my "memory". Just a little bit ago, it had to do with finding a parking spot while holding a book on my lap. It doesn't make sense.

I'm telling you, it's the absolute weirdest feeling. What's happening? There are no drugs in my system, not even alcohol. Right now my heart is pounding and I'm still shaking. I remember feeling this way once before when I lived in Houston. I can remember quite clearly that I was working at cost accounting, and when this feeling hit me before. The panicking is the worst. Here's hoping it will be another five or six years before it happens again.

Maybe I'll just turn on all the lights, pull the covers over my head and wait for tomorrow to come.

I need a hug.