The Storm After The Calm

It's been a quiet week. I think no news is good news.

Then tonight happened.

Ron and I don't have specific "jobs" around the house. Now that I read that, maybe that's not exactly true. Ron does mow the grass and he plows the snow. Garbage night, I'd say 99.9% of the time, he is the one taking out the garbage.

Well, I figured tonight he worked hard on the grass, so I said I'd pack up the garbage tonight and lug it down to the curb. That should have been a no brainer.

Until . . .

It happened . . .

As I was taking the first load from the side of the house down to the curb, an enormous spider started chasing me around the driveway! I know, y'all think I'm exaggerating on this. No lying though, this monster had to be more than an inch in diameter! He was huge! And when something that you're terrified of to begin with is chasing you down the driveway, it looks even bigger and is even more menacing.

The first thought in my mind was just plain screaming. I knew Ron would come running. But then I thought that with all the other excitement in our neighborhood, I didn't need to get all my neighbors up in arms yet again. While I thought a call to the S.W.A.T. team was probably warranted, I didn't think they'd actually take an M16 to kill my stalker.

We have a bucket by the door filled with chestnuts that we collected last fall. I hefted the bucket over my head and brought it crashing down on my mortal enemy, Mr. Spider. All I will say is . . . I won.

Ok, I guess I proved that if push came to shove, I could protect myself. But just to be on the safe side . . . taking out the garbage is now solely Ron's job. Sorry honey!