Monday, July 25, 2011

Good Dog, Bad Dog

Anyone that knows me, knows how I feel about dogs. I don't have anything against them personally, but seeing one usually causes me to fly into a panic attack. This is not something I can control.

Last week my world was full of dogs.

First at work of all places! Keep in mind, work is kinda out in the country. A few days before the incident I am going to tell you about, I happened to look out my window of my office and saw a very large white dog just outside of my window! He looked a bit skinny but he was still a big dog. What the heck, where did he come from? BIG dog! I was terrified for a few days getting in and out of my car, thinking that this dog might be outside.

So now to last week. I look outside and see this dog is back! Our FedEx guy is also in the parking lot. He is trying to turn the truck around in the front parking lot and this dog is all excited! The poor driver was having a heck of a time moving the truck without hitting the dog! The dog really wasn't acting vicious, just really excited about seeing someone outside.

I went to our front door in time to see Mr. FedEx getting out of his truck and the dog running towards him. Then, I don't see Mr. FedEx as he's behind our cars. I don't hear the dog growling or barking, but I now don't see either one of them! Yeah, I got kinda worried but not worried enough to go outside to check on him. Hey, I have my limits!

Suddenly, Mr. FedEx stands up brushing off his pants and he and the dog come walking up to the door. Yeah, right, like I'm going to unlock the door to Mr. FedEx AND a dog! A BIG dog! Nuhuh. I motioned to Mr. FedEx that the dog is NOT coming in, despite the fact that the dog's nose is pressed against the crack of the door.

Mr. FedEx shushed the dog back and I let him in. I explained my fear of dogs to him and then we started talking about the dog. To me, the dog looked skinny. You could see his ribs but I wouldn't call him emaciated. But I thought he was thin. Mr. FedEx agreed that the dog was thin. He called the dog a yellow lab and said the dog was extremely friendly and probably lost and hungry.

I told Mr. FedEx that I saw the dog around the week before so between us, came up with the story that the dog was probably lost all that time and scrounging for food! Hey, it sounded like a good story to me! Mr. FedEx walked out the door and I went back to my desk. All I could think was "poor hungry lost dog". Yes, me.

I went to the fridge, pulled the pepperoni out of my salad (I didn't think a dog would like raw spinach), poured some water into a cup and went back outside! Outside, where there is a loose BIG DOG!!

Lucky for me, Mr. FedEx was still there and actually, he was scrounging in his truck for something for this dog, too. Now, sit down 'cause you are NEVER gonna believe this! I FED the dog!!!

Ok, not right from my hand, but I called him over and as he got close, I dropped a few pieces of pepperoni on the ground for him. Once I was out of pepperoni, he was looking at me for more! Now was the time for panic! He actually started licking my hand and I had dog slobber ALL over my hand! But, miracle of miracles, I still had ALL of my fingers!

The dog now looked to me as his new best friend! Mr. FedEx came from his truck with a handful of dog treats. He says he carries them for the vicious dogs but this guy needed some love too. After he fed the dog some treats, we tried to get him to take some water from the cup. That took some doing but the dog finally figured it out.

As the dog was drinking, Mr. FedEx took the dog's collar and read off to me the owner's phone number. My cell was in my pocket so I called the owner and explained that her dog was at work with me.

Ok, I'm not a dog lover but I was concerned about this poor creature that I thought didn't look healthy. The owner wasn't too concerned. She actually lives a few houses down and she leaves the dog outside because he's old and some times makes a mess in the house. Ugh. My heart was breaking for this poor guy. But, she did walk over with one of her kids and picked this poor guy up.

I went back to work absolutely elated that I actually walked outside on PURPOSE knowing that a dog was out there. I thought Mr. FedEx had left so I was actually willing to go out there alone. I ended up with dog hair all over my legs from him leaning against me and a hand full of happy doggy slobber. ME!

I was on a dog high for this. I'm sure not everyone will appreciate just what it took for ME to walk up to a dog to feed and water it and pet it. ME. My hand were so close to his HUGE teeth that I ended up with dog slobber ALL over my hand. I was amazed and so proud of myself.

But . . . what goes up, must come down.

Fast forward a few measly days.

It's flea season and I get some stuff from my vet that I put on the back of their necks once a month to prevent fleas. I needed to run to the vet to pick up the next dose of the medicine. If any of you have ever been in a vet's office, you know they tend to be full of dogs! It takes everything in me to just walk in the door. That's a testament to how much I love my cats that I'm willing to walk into the vet's office for their meds!

I walk in, but I have to do it my way. Two girls are working the counter checking people in and out. The girl on the right said she could help me but to get to her, I'd have to walk in between the lady checking out with her dog and a lady sitting on the bench next to the counter with a big boxer. I looked at both dogs and told the employee that I'd wait.

The woman with the boxer could tell I was terrified and she actually moved down the bench a bit to give me more room. But, by now the other lady was done checking out so with that dog gone, I had what I felt was enough room to walk up to the counter safely.

She got me the meds, I got out my credit card. As we were finishing up, I heard the door behind me open and then I felt someone behind me and I heard a "WUF". Without even turning around, my heart started to pound out of my chest. Then I heard someone say "WOW! How much does THAT weight?" Yeah, I knew that "WUF" didn't come from a chihuahua. The owner of the beast said "oh, she only weighs 143 pounds". Really? 143 pounds for a DOG? From hearing their conversation, the dog was an English Mastiff. Here is what an English Mastiff looks like.


This is not the dog that was in the vet's office last week, this is just a picture I found on the internet. But, you get the idea of how BIG these dogs are!

You want to talk about a full blown panic attack! I wanted nothing more than to jump over the counter and hide. By now the tears were flowing freely and I couldn't have stopped them if my life depended on it.

Somehow I finished up my transaction and got my wallet back in my purse and I was out the door. I really don't remember much of anything between hearing 143 pounds and walking into my house. For real, I don't remember.

In the morning, I went to look for the meds and could not find them in my purse, in my car or in my house. WTF.

I planned on calling the vet's office when they opened at 9:00 but I got busy and forgot about it. Sure enough, around 10:00, the vet's office called me and said I left the meds on the counter! She said I didn't look well, and I was out of there so quickly that she tried to catch me in the parking lot but I was GONE! She had NO idea just how gone I was!

From the highest high to the lowest low. How could I have dog slobber all over my hand one day and a few days later be in a full blown panic attack again. I really thought I was making progress last week with dogs. Now I'm back to square one.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

Poor old boy probably has health issues that are causing him to have accidents in the house. Or his people aren't letting him out on a regular enough basis. If he comes back to you, please let me know.
I am proud of you for facing your biggest fear head-on! As the word verification says, Reeha!

Mark said...

You're not back to square one. You still conquered your fear long enough to feed the lab. And tolerate dog slobber and hair. You just need (if you actually want) more time around dogs, and different sizes of them.

Years ago, I took my kids to the tennis courts at Lakeview to practice turning double-plays (grass was really wet). While we were inside the cage, a guy was walking his mastiff, and it was HUGE. Owner said he weighed 200 lbs. Neither I nor the kids wanted to go play with the "puppy" (he wasn't that old).

Baby steps, Ree. You're doing fine, and your heart's helping you along.