I'm Not Fighting It Any Longer - I AM Pathetic!

I was driving home from work yesterday when I realized that somehow I had picked up a hitchhiker.

Right there on my windshield was a huge BUG! I don't mean that he went splat on my windshield, but rather he was actually sitting there hitching a ride. Or else he was eyeing me through the windshield wondering how much fun I'd be to terrorize or to bite. I started driving like I was in a Ford or something when I saw him! Not that I'm an expert on bugs, but I don't think I've ever seen something like this before. His body was about 1-1/2" long. At first I thought it was just a bee because I saw the striped body. But his hind legs looked like grasshopper legs. And his antenna were at least as long as his body! Weird looking thing. Scary too.

Of course I called Ron. (I did use my hands free blue tooth via my Garmin to do it though!) I must have been in a slight panic since he did have to ask me to repeat myself. I told him there is a huge freakin' bug on my windshield and it's lookin' at me! When he stopped laughing, he suggested perhaps my windshield wipers would do the trick. Ok, yeah, I never thought of that. But then again, the more I did think about it all I could see was smearing it all across my windshield. Besides, it is in the outdoors where in belongs. If he was in my house, all bets are off. But outdoors, I can't just kill him for being on the outside of my car.

I told Ron that I had planned on stopping at the store on my way home, but now I'm not sure if I can get out of my car with that thing looking at me. The good man that he is, he suggested I pull into the driveway at home, he'll get the bug off of my windshield and then I could pull right back out again and go to the store! Now THAT sounded like a plan!

Then I thought that sounded kinda pathetic. Yeah, Ron did have to save me from a spider last night, but hey! That was in the kitchen and he was right over my sink. How's a girl supposed to do dishes with a monster right in front of her? But I digress. I'm talking about the bug on the windshield.

I didn't want to be so pathetic that I had to go home for bug control on my windshield. I told Ron that hopefully in the three miles or so I had to go, maybe the bug would leave of his own volition. Then I could get out of the car safe and sound at the store. Yes, I was going to be an adult and be brave and head right to the store.

Big mistake.

If you hear of any news reports of a woman having a seizure at Walgreens or just acting crazy, that was me.

The bug was still on my windshield when I pulled into the parking lot. I sat there and stared at him while he stared right back. Then I got the bright idea that he was content on my windshield, he's been there at least for the last five miles, so perhaps he'll just remain content on there while I go to the store. Not.

As soon as I got out of my car and shut the door, he comes after me. He's flying/jumping around my head while I'm doing my best to duck, cover and slap the crap out of him. My arms were flaying overhead, my legs were kicking and I'm not sure, but I think there might have been a scream as well. The store manager happened to be outside having a smoke and was nice enough to watch the whole thing. From a distance. Go figure.

The bug left me no worse for the wear I guess. I lost some dignity, and burned off quite a few calories I'm sure with that bug fighting exhibition. I then straightened my blouse, and headed into the store like a pseudo-professional woman and did my shopping. I paid no attention to the fact that the store manager continued to follow me through the store, again from a distance.

But, from now on, I'm going to accept that I am pathetic and go home and make Ron take care of my bugs! Otherwise I may no longer be welcome at Walgreens!