Speaking of Books

Let's talk about the Reader's Digest.

A happy memory from childhood is the Reader's Digest. Fighting with everyone to get in the pecking order of who reads the Digest first. Then, the correct way of reading the Digest once it was finally my turn.

It used to be that I flipped through the book looking for the little quips that fill up the pages at the end of stories. From there I'd go to the recurring sections such as the Humor in Uniform, Laughter the Best Medicine, Life in These United States, etc. The actual articles were almost an after thought. Things you read while you waited for the next Digest to show up.

Now, I'm older and wiser. Yes, we still get the Digest and it is a happy day the day the mailman brings the new edition. Only now, no more pecking order. The Digest is immediately placed in its proper place, the bathroom. That way everyone has equal time to read it in the proper place. I've also grown in my appreciation for the Digest. No more do I cheat and read all the jokes first. Now, I'm a cover to cover kind of gal. I start in the beginning and just work my way right through.

Now a bad segue to a joke found in the Digest. This is what we affectionately call a "Jim Joke". You know I love you brother, but c'mon! Some of them jokes! To explain a "Jim Joke" more clearly, here is the one from the September 2005 issue. Tell me that you can't hear Jim telling this joke!

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."

The panda yells back, "Hey, man. I'm a panda. Look it up!"

The bartender opens his dictionary to Panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

I'm killing me here!