Fire Bug

I know, I have some blogging to catch up on! 

Let's start with my new habit.  I have been a fire bug!

A few years ago, I was heating up a pop tart in the toaster oven at work.  I started a fire.  No fire is a good fire but this one didn't cause damage except to my pride.  I took a lot of crap from coworkers, as I should have, and we joked that I'm no longer allowed to use the toaster oven! 

Then, last week I was using the microwave on my heating pad.  I use this a lot and it's a great help to my sore shoulder and neck.  You put it in the microwave for two minutes and it's a nice moist heat experience.  Like I said, I use this pad a lot.  I took it to work a few days last week.  I put it in the microwave and I started to smell something.  Something burning.

It's an old microwave, pre turn table era.  I guess one ray of microwave magic just beat down on that poor thing in one place.  It doesn't look like much but it was on fire and the entire microwave was full of smoke!  This heating pad thingie is full of rice.  The building was full of the wonderful smell of burnt rice.  Yes, the microwave is now on the list of toys at work I'm not supposed to use without supervision. 

Wait, it continues!

The other day, I had to laminate some labels.  You print on paper what you want laminated.  Then it goes into a plastic sleeve.  The sleeve then goes into a waxy paper folder and that is what you feed through the laminator.  If you do it correctly, when the waxy paper comes out the other side, what is in it is nice and laminated.  If you do it correctly.

I was holding up the paper as it went through the roller of the laminating machine.  Once it was through, I looked at the other side to take the finished product out of the machine and guess what!  There was nothing there!  I have NO idea where in the hell my labels went but they did not come out of the machine.  I think I yelled something like "oh crap" or some words to the effect.  My brother heard that and came running.  Something about the tone of my voice told him this was a bad "oh crap" that he might need to intervene in this one.

I immediately shut the machine off and then tried to take the top off of the machine to get my paper out of there.  It wasn't happening.  Mike had to get tools to get me out of this jam!  He actually had to take the machine apart to get that dame paper out from around the roller inside.  Come to find out, I forgot the waxy paper portion of this exercise.  Luckily the plastic didn't melt directly to the roller.  I wish I'd have taken a picture of that mess when Mike got it out of the machine!  My instructions from Mike for the rest of that day?  "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"  Noted.

So, I've been trying to behave and to not touch anything. 

I came home from work tonight, fed the cats and then I cooked myself some dinner.  Should have been an easy dinner, heating up a veal patty in a frying pan.  Should have taken five or six minutes.  I don't know what I was thinking but that patty was burned to a crisp!  This was one of the nastiest dinners I've ever made myself!  I ate it but I didn't like it.

Sheesh, me and fire are not getting along.  Lock up all of your matches and lighters.  I just can't be trusted!