I Could Be Rich

The following was in my email this morning!

My condolences to the late Mrs. Flora Peacock, (nice name!) but c'mon now! How can I pass up this offer?!?!?

There are so many holes in this story it isn't even funny, but that's the point. It IS funny; that's why I'm sharing the giggle!

Hello,

My name is Barrister Barry Wilson. I am the attorney of Late Mrs.Flora Peacock , who died in London UK. I have a business proposition for you.

Before the death of my late client, she lodged huge amount of money in an offshore account in UK, amounting to Ј3,000,000 (three million pounds)And the only person aware of the funds is me,being her lawyer.

Unfortunately, Mrs.Flora Peacock had no next of kin as she had no children and she didn’t appoint any inheritance. It is on this note, that you come in, I would like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin whom I will appoint and notify the offshore bank that you are the actual next of kin appointed by Mrs.Flora Peacock before her death. Please, have nothing to worry about, as I will commence processing all legal documentations certifying you as the Sole-Beneficiary to Late Mrs.Flora Peacock, Be rest assured that all documents will be processed according to the law.

If you agree to do this with me, we shall both share the total amount of Ј3m pounds 40/60 %, which means Ј1.2M( One million two hundred thousand pounds)for you, while the balance amount would be mine.If you oblige then kindly send me your full name, Age, address, telephone and country, in order for me to prepare the necessary documents for the funds to be released to you.

Kindly note that this transaction requires maximum secrecy. Kindly response to me xxx@inmail24.com (email address changed, just in case!) . I await your response.

RegardsBarry Wilson

I Need Eye Bleach

You know, once you see something, you can't unsee it!

Ron and I saw this commercial last night and I laughed so hard, I had Diet Pepsi coming out of my nose!

This is hysterical!

This Sucks!

I woke up this morning just after 4:00 am from a nightmare.

In the nightmare, some greasy looking kid on a bicycle stopped to talk to me as I was standing outside on the front porch. He was freaking me out, so I told him I was done for the night and I was turning in. I went inside, closed and locked the door and came upstairs to get ready for bed.

Then, I just KNEW he was in my house!

I tried to dial 911 on my cell phone but when they got on the phone, I just couldn't talk! So, here I am, in my bathroom (that has no lock on the door) with 911 on the phone and I'm scared shitless.

Then I woke up.

So, now an hour and a half later, I'm still shaking! When I woke up, my heart was beating almost out of my chest. I was too afraid to stay in bed any longer but I'm also too afraid to go downstairs. I am sitting up here listening for noises coming from downstairs. In a house that is over 100 years old, there are ALWAYS noises in this house! Add to that the gurgling fish tank downstairs and I'm always hearing something!

Ok, I don't need coffee that badly. I have no reason to go downstairs! I will sit up here with all the lights on and try not to be such a wuss.

That's it. I need to stop reading books about stalkers and killers and bad guys. What's left? Children's books and romance novels. Great. See Spot run!

Six Years!

July 16th, 2003. Six years ago, Ron and I moved in together!! And what a ride it's been.

We decided to celebrate yesterday as much as we could. We started with one of our favorite lunch time establishments.

The picnic table on the left is where we ate! We grabbed some Subway sandwiches and enjoyed one of the best views in all of Lorain.

Here is the view from our picnic table. Ok, I guess my picture would have been a LOT better without the garbage can front and center, huh?

And here is the rest of the marina.

We even had some company join us for lunch! I shared a few of my potato chips.

It took him awhile before he would come close enough to actually grab the chips. Hey, what can I say. It's hard to get distance with a light weight chip! The first chip for him was the hardest. Once he overcame the fear of me, the goodness of the Baked Lays Potato Chip won him over. He had no problem coming close to get his prize!

It was a gorgeous day yesterday. The rest of our plans included a nice dinner at one of our favorite Italian restaurants, Buca di Beppo's. Our plan was to leave early, run a few errands, then go to dinner. Once again, just as we were getting ready to walk out of the door, Ron's phone rang.

Ron got a support call. That's one of those calls that he only handles over the phone since it's somewhere in the country that's not anywhere near Ohio. This one happened to be in California. So, Ron starts his support call at about 4:00 but didn't finish until quarter after six! Bummer, dude!

I didn't want to run to Buca's at that time as it would be after 7:00 by the time we got there and we were hungry. So, we put in a change of plans and decided to stay close to home and had a nice dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. There are no great Chinese places anywhere near us, but I had a hankering for Chinese so we made the best of it.

The best part of the evening was when we got home from dinner. I'm not one that can walk by garbage in our yard. I need to pick it up and throw it away. Right in front of where Ron parks his van was a plastic grocery bag.

We had already taken the garbage bins to the curb for garbage pick up, so I told Ron to go ahead inside if he wanted, I was running this garbage to the curb. But, I did ask him to please leave the door open.

Anyone who knows me knows that when we go out to eat, I never carry my phone. Also, since I don't carry a purse, unless I'm driving, I also never carry my keys! This is an important fact to note for the rest of this story.

So, Ron headed into the house while I went to the curb with the garbage. It was gorgeous outside, so I did a quick walk around and checked out the flower beds and the Rose of Sharon trees that are blooming. I couldn't have been out there five minutes. Then I headed into the house.

Guess what! I guess the honeymoon is OVER! Ron locked me out of the house! WTF?!?!?! Now, I have no phone, no keys, and there is no doorbell on the house. Remember way back when, when Ron's youngest son Vince, locked himself out of the house at night. He tried banging and banging on the door, along with throwing pebbles at our bedroom window to try to be let back in. Ha. He spent the night on the front porch!

I was hoping Ron would figure I was missing way before morning, but I was banging away on our side door for all I was worth. Aaah. He heard me.

Maybe it was a Freudian slip, maybe it was just habit to lock the door behind himself. Whatever, it made for a good laugh last night and more importantly, it made for a great blog story today!

Then We'll Start It

I've complained about our neighborhood before. We don't live in the best of neighborhoods; not all of our neighbors are stellar.

We see all kinds of things in this neighborhood and because of it, nothing is ever left unlocked around here.

Since we've purchased the bocce ball set, we've been playing it a lot in the yard after dinner. It's a great way to work off a little bit of dinner! You know what? Neighbors who have never talked to us before are talking to us. Total strangers walking by actually stop to chat a bit. Mostly about the game, but people are actually talking to each other. We've had a few people promise they are going to join us one of these days!

Kids are another story. They have no problem coming up to us and asking if they can play. We have one in particular who is our neighbor, a few houses away. Ray-Ray is getting to be a regular at our bocce games! I'm guessing Ray-Ray is about eight years old. But, he's extremely polite, extremely outgoing and has a great throwing arm! He's a lot of fun to have around.

Neighbors. Families.

Since we've started playing bocce, one of the neighbors has set up a corn hole game in their yard. A good way for a family to pass some time after dinner as well. Tonight, before we started to play, we heard someone in the area playing horseshoes. Another good game.

So, maybe, a better neighborhood starts with someone setting an example of a better neighbor. We're talking to the neighbors, and playing games. That's got to be a great start. Who knows? If this keeps up, maybe the one neighborhood Mom who is heard telling her kids repeatedly to "get your f-ing a$$ over here" will learn a little bit too.

It's gotta start somewhere. Why not here.

Perfect, Just Perfect!

Ron's sister Susan and her partner Georgia, hosted a family and friends picnic Sunday at one of the metro parks in Euclid.

We were actually in the reserved area called Rear Quarry Reserved Picnic Area - Euclid Creek. It was just awesome! There was a covered pavilion, numerous places for games or putting your lawn chair under the shade of some huge trees. The covered pavilion was complete with electricity and picnic tables, and the grounds also had water and restroom facilities.

Ok, I have to digress a moment. Restroom facilities is a loose label for what these were. They were a step up from just the regular job johnnies; there was a door, sort of a toilet but it was over a hole. Now, I've seen the episode of the X Files where some monster lived in the hole under an outhouse! I was a little afraid (ok, a LOT afraid) to hang my naked ass over this hole. I stood there debating how much I had to really pee. Finally, after two cans of soda and a bottle of water, my bladder gave in and I did hang my naked ass over that hole! This thing smelled much better than most outhouses I've had the pleasure of visiting, but still. You did what you had to do and got the hell out of there. That was the only downside.

Let's start at the beginning. Everyone was bringing something and Ron was requested to bring his famous ranch beans. There aren't many places that Ron's allowed without his beans! So, he cooked up a double batch of the vegan version of his ranch beans (our personal favorite version!) and away the three of us went.

Just as we were walking out of the door, Ron got called into work. Well, better now than when we're at the party. We loaded up the van and all of us went with Ron to the job site. Phil took a nap in the van and I read my book at the picnic table just off of the parking lot. Once Ron was finished, we were back on the road. We were a bit late, but not too late to enjoy the fun!

Aside from two tables of food (waaay too many to list! Waaay too many to eat too, since we got to bring home an entire left over dutch apple pie!) there was fun for everyone. Let's start with the Rocket Car! The Rocket Car was available for a few hours of fun! They would load up the car, go for a ride around the metro park and then head back in for the next group. You couldn't wipe the smiles off of the people that were coming off of that Rocket Car! Waaay too much fun.

When the Rocket Car's tour of duty was up, an artist came in to set up shop. This guy was drawing cartoon caricature of anyone that would sit still long enough. The guy was really good and it was amazing how fast he could draw someone up!

Aside from these two headliners, there were games for kids and of course, we took our bocce set. After we got done eating, Ron and I along with Ron's cousin Tom and his wife Margie, headed up the hill to find a flat spot to play a game of bocce. Tom is one of my favorite people as this man has such a sick sense of humor! He takes all the crap I can dish out at him and then shovels it all right back at me. None of it malicious, all of it in fun. I always have fun when Tom and Margie are around!

While I've never been able to beat Ron one on one at Bocce, in teams, we played the girls against the boys and of course, woman power came out on top! It was a close game and a well played game, but the ladies did win with 12-10. I may never play bocce again so I can remain on top!

After eating and after bocce it was time for relaxing. Groups of people sat in the grass, at picnic tables or just in lawn chairs in the shade, catching up on each other while the kids went on a treasure hunt, or on the swings or playing games or just running around. It was great to see some people that we only see at Christmas dinner. Of course, the promises were made that we need to get together soon. I just hope it happens!

It was a long day but a great day. The weather was perfect, the entertainment was awesome, the food was spectacular and of course, time with friends and family.

The best thing I learned at this party is that Susan and Georgia know how to throw a first class party! The ladies did one fantastic job! The next party I throw, I'm definitely calling on them for planning details.

I Should Have Opened The Door

This is an owie. This is what happens when you don't open the oven door all the way before you try to take the sweet potatoes out of the oven! Let this picture save you from the same thing happening to you.

Ok, I took one for the team, but it was so worth it. Brother Jim came to Ohio on Tuesday for a family dinner. We had a good reason for this get together. I had bought a ham. It was on sale. Hey, I had a hankering for it. That was a good enough reason for us!

The weather on Tuesday was gorgeous, so Jim had a good day for travel. We got some good one on one time, some good porch time and of course, some good eating time.

I had the on sale ham in the crock pot, I did my new dish of pasta and brussel sprouts (yum!) and of course the sweet potatoes.

I was just trying to brown the marshmallows on top of the sweet potatoes and I didn't want to wait any longer. I opened the oven door just part way and reached in. Yes, my arm ended up hitting the inside of the oven door. I guess no dinner is complete without a little blood being shed by the cook, huh?

Owie aside, it was a great dinner, great conversation, and great company.

Thanks again, Jim, for making the trip! It's always great to see you!

Coexist

I'm not a big fan of bumper stickers, but when I saw this one, I had to have it.

Since I've put it on my car, I've already had someone pull up along side of me at a traffic light to ask where she could get one too.

I think it's an important message. If anyone else would like one, you can get yours here. They have a ton of cool stuff on their website.

In the words of John Lennon,

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace...

Now That's A Weekend

Happy Fourth of July!

Around here, I think we had a pretty good weekend. Kinda laid back, kinda quiet but all good.

Saturday morning didn't start out so well as Ron got a service call at about 7:30 am. Since I didn't want him to suffer alone, I went along with him for the ride. While he goes into his client's building, I wait in the van with my cup of coffee and my book. He's not usually all that long, plus the weather was gorgeous, so it's all good. Besides, I hooked a free breakfast out of him when he was done with the service call. Bonus!

Ron and I tag teamed on the cooking duties for the holiday. We did some of the normal holiday fare. Ron got the grill out and did some portabella mushroom for portabella sandwiches, plus Smith's hot dogs, IN the skins. Damn, that was good.

From the kitchen, I made the corn on the cob and I cut up a bunch of fresh fruit for a fruit salad. I'm telling you, it was all good! The three of us ate like kings! Happy birthday, America!

This year, our neighborhood was LOUD with celebrations of the exploding kind.

Every holiday there is some neighborhood fireworks happening. This year, people must have had bonus money to spend on this stuff, or else someone was handing it out for free. It went on for hours. And, it wasn't the cheap bottle rockets and firecrackers. The sky was lit up with star bursts galore. I couldn't believe it.

Sometime after midnight, Ron and I went to sit on the front porch while he had a cigarette. All you could smell outside is that like sulfur smell that you smell when someone lights a match. And, with all of the gunpowder exploding, there was a haze all over. It was thick enough to cut last night, like a war zone! It even got hard to tell the firecrackers from the gunfire! I didn't hear of any fatalities or injuries in the neighborhood from last night, so this was much better than most holidays.

My favorite part was that I'm usually picking up between 20 and 30 bottle rockets out of the yard the morning after fireworks. Today I picked up a total of three bottle rockets and a couple of M80 wrappers. Bonus for me!

So, it was a good Fourth of July around here. Good food, good family, no damage.

Sunday again the weather was fantastic! We do love to spend time on the front porch in good weather. Directly across from the porch before the street is a large maple tree. We were sitting on the porch when Ron pointed out something on the side of the trunk of the tree. We couldn't believe it, but it was a bat! Now, we've fought with bats in our house before, so I was a little nervous that perhaps this little guy was scoping us out again. I grabbed my camera and got a little closer. Hopefully you can see the little guy just under the leaves on the left side of the trunk.



He was really small. I'm not sure what a good size for a bat is, but he just seemed small. After taking a few pictures, the bat started to go around and around the trunk of the tree. He climbed slowly down the trunk then, and ended up in the grass.



Not that I'm a bat expert, but I've heard that if a bat falls to the ground he cannot fly away. He needs to get up into the air in order to attain flight. Once I saw him in the grass I kinda knew that this little guy wasn't doing too well. My first thought was what can we do to help him! Ron gave me a little talking to that if he's sick, he's sick and there is nothing we will be able to do to fix that. As if to prove his point, the bat crawled out into the street!




I thought it was a suicide mission myself.

After our bat excitement, I went inside to get dinner started. I was trying out a new recipe and I was anxious to get going. Before anyone asks, no, I did NOT cook the bat! We had pork with artichoke and capers! Yes, I AM getting to be Betty freakin' Crocker over here!



If I do say so myself, this was one of my best dinners. The pork loin was so tender and how can you go wrong with artichoke hearts and capers? Three happy tummies over here tonight.

After dinner, Ron and I hit the yard for a few rousing games of bocce. The good news here is that in our first game, I came the closest to beating Ron than I have ever been before! He won 12 - 9!! Hello?? I was almost double digits! I sure did give him a run for his money that game! The second game was more like it with his winning score of 12 - 4. Yeah, I suck, but we had a lot of fun.

That was our weekend. Aside from a bat dying in front of us, it was a darn good weekend. I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday.

Word Of Warning!

Some one I know just left today for China! Here's hoping HIS receipt doesn't look like this when he gets back! ;-)



see more Fail Blog

The Glass Menagerie

Wednesday night, Ron and I went to the theater.

The Oberlin Summer Theater Festival is putting on two plays this summer, The Glass Menagerie being one of them. Since the price was right (free!) I got us a couple of tickets.

I decided I wanted to see this production because first, I love live theater and second, it was free! I knew nothing about The Glass Menagerie but have heard of the author, Tennessee Williams. But, it was live theater and it was free.

It was a very moving performance. Taking place in the slums of St. Louis in 1937 it was a story of a different time. A story of trying to do right by your family but always seeming to come up short. It's a story of guilt for not being able to measure up.

Support your local theater; you won't regret it.

If you're in the neighborhood of Oberlin, I'd suggest picking up a couple of free tickets. Take your own tissues though; you'll need them.

I'm Done!

I'm finally DONE!

This is the first afghan I've ever finished! This was definitely challenging, but I'm so excited it's finished!

In my humble opinion, I think it came out great! While I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do with it, at least it's done.

I came a far way from February when I started!

Before anyone gets too worried, I have about four other projects in the wings waiting to get started. Now the problem will just be picking out the next one!