Do you ever just not want to be part of reality? Or more correct, do you want to be part of a different reality?
That's where I am today. Today is a slap in the face reminder of just about everything I've done wrong in my life. I can't blame anyone else as I made all of the decisions that got me to where I am today. I don't have to like it, but no matter how many times I click my heels together, I can't go back and have a do over. Most days I accept that, today just isn't one of them.
I knew that today would not be a day that I can put one foot in front of the other and get on with my life. Today, I was going to need to try to take a step out of reality and pretend for one day I'm someone else.
So I tried to play hooky from life today. I enlisted Ron's help and I took a day off of work and he took a half a day off of work. We started out hooky day last night at Mezcal Tequila. They say that drinking doesn't solve your problems but I'll tell you what, I had a couple of good hours last night!!
I learned one thing from last night. I really am too old for a hangover. Oy vey. But, for as long as Ron had off of work, we had a pretty good hooky day. We did stuff we don't ordinarily do, especially on a Tuesday. For one, we went bowling at Rebman on Oberlin Avenue. If you ever go there, tell Fred we said hello. He did a great job getting us two noobs up and at 'em trying to bowl. I warned him that we were not really sure what we were doing so he made sure we were waaay off on our own so that we didn't bother anyone. We sucked at bowling, but it was fun.
Fun that is, until Fred said that we'd be perfect for their over 50 seniors league starting tomorrow! DUDE! This bitch is having a bad day to begin with and you're going to assume I'm OVER 50??? I still have another year to go before I hit 50! Let's not rush things!
That faux pas aside Fred did help us have a good time. He didn't make me bowl any better, but he helped us have some fun. And, in three games, at least I had ONE game that I bowled over 100! I'm pretty jiggy with that.
I will make it through today but first I'm going to finish the pity party I'm having for myself. Tomorrow I'll put my big girl pants back on and go out to face the future I carved out for myself. Tomorrow WILL be a better day. It has to be.
4 comments:
Big hugs, Ree. I know that it doesn't help, but I'm feeling as crappy as you do about my life. There is too much bullshit happening at the moment, no, it has been happeneing for years and years and sometimes I think I can't bare all this no longer. I have been depressive for years and I am suffering from anxiety in the mornings. There has been a relatively good period of time during the last months, but this morning I awoke with this unspecific kind of fear, that drives me mad. Sometimes life is simply too much, too much shit. Big, big hugs, Ree. Hope you are feeling a little better now. I'm thinking of you.
I'm sorry you are having a rough time but glad your hooky day soothed your soul a little. Every day that you get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other has the potential to be a good day. {hug}
Thanks to the both of you for the well wishes and the hugs.
One foot in front of the other.
You could have asked them to put the bumpers down for you, and done some kiddie-bowling....
My teens went bowling with 2 friends a week or so ago. Had a blast.
Every day's a new day. You learn from yesterday and plan for today. Hope it gets better and glad to hear you had fun.
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