I Saw Her Standing There

Family.  You can't choose them, you just have to live with them.

Looks aren't everything but I don't think I look like any of my siblings.  My three brothers all share a familial look to them.   I don't think the three sisters in my family look alike at ALL.  Nor do we resemble our brothers.  I think we have family traits in us, but as far as looks go, I think us girls were all very different.

Families.  I've been thinking a lot about mine lately.  Must be the upcoming holidays.  While I may not look much like my siblings or even my family, at least in my mind, I know I have taken some of the best traits from the family members that came before me.

My father's father.  He was a farmer who in his day had dairy cows and chickens and a garden.  Another thing he had was barn cats.  I remember when I was a little girl, Grandpa would take a sauce pan of "mush" up the hill to the barn for the cats.  I don't really know what was in the "mush" but I remember he'd carry it up in a sauce pan.

As Grandpa was heading up the hill, he'd start talking to the cats in Slovak.  The barn cats would all come running and just be all over Grandpa.  They'd rub against his legs, jump up on his shoulders, they looked so happy to see him!  Granted, he had food in his hand, but I digress.  As a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to be able to go and pet and play with any one of those cats.  However, if any of us kids got close, food in his hand or not, the cats would all go running away from Grandpa.  So, I watched from afar and wished that was me with those cats.

Now, Cathie tells me I'm just one cat away from being "that crazy cat lady".  Have faith in me, Cathie!  One day I don't be one cat short, I'm sure.

What else did I get from my family?  Let's talk about my mother's father.  He was the huge baseball fan in the family.  He would listen to as many games at a time as he could.  While I might not multi-task the ball games like he did, I do have the love of the game that he did.  He died before I was born, but I think he would be happy that I took up his passion for the sport.  He might not be happy that I picked the rivals of his beloved St. Louis Cardinals to root for, but I think I got the love of the game from this Grandpa.  Go CUBS!!

I wish I took more after my Mother.  I have NONE of her petite-ness. I also don't have her ability to always turn the other cheek.  I have too much of the temper from her side of the family.  Even when her own family would crap on her, she'd turn the other cheek.  Instead of confronting the person that caused her the most pain, she'd say to let it go.  She thought she'd never change some one's mind from what they thought was right, no matter how wrong they were.  Mom told me that since she knew the truth, that was all that mattered.  Ok, at least I got that from her.  I know the truth too, regardless of what is said, even to this day.

I got a lot from my sister Barb.  I learned my profession from Barb as she hired me at 15 years old for my first job.  I learned the general ledger, the difference between a debit and a credit, balancing a check book, most other accounting functions, including making collection calls.  Not bad for a kid!  She actually taught me a lot about a lot of things outside of work as well.  She was a very good sister.

I know I've heard Barb's voice in my head, finishing an argument we had a few weeks before she died.  Fine, you were right, Barb!  I concede that one!

So, in part, we are what we came from.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  Hopefully we take the best traits of those before us and leave the bad behind.

While I don't think I look anything like Barb, I have seen her a few times in the mirror.  I have chalked it up to just being tired, looking into the vanity mirror in the bathroom, I swore a couple of times it was Barb looking back at me.  First thing in the morning, last thing at night, I must have just been tired.

This morning, I got to work, grabbed my lunch and my coffee cup from the car and I went to unlock the door at work.  Our front door in a glass door and as I walked up to the door, I swear, it was Barb's reflection.  It was my coffee cup, my lunch bag, my jacket, my shirt.  But I swear it was Barb looking back at me, I saw her standing there.

It was good to see her, even if it was just in my imagination.  Now, if only she'd give me the winning lottery numbers, I'd forgive her for winning an argument with me five years after she passed away!  The least she could do, huh?